Writing critics welcome! Please read the first (and maybe more?) chapter of my story?

I am an aspiring writer, and I have been writing for as long as I can really remember. Any who, I was wondering if I could get some honest, harsh if needed, criticism? Don't tell me what you think I want to hear if you don't mean it! I am a big girl and can take what ever advice and criticism you throw my way! Thanks so much :)